A letter to the Overwhelmed Fire Wife:
Dear Overwhelmed Fire Wife,
I’ve been where you are.
Surrounded by things left undone, conversations left unfinished- and you’re just trying to stay calm on shift day.
I see you.
I see you seeking support and finding none.
I see you doing the work for two people because your Firefighter is gone (again)
And with little thanks- especially when the world doesn’t understand your Firefighter-not the way that you do.
I know at times you don’t feel good enough, strong enough, or brave enough to face these nights and days alone. To conquer your house as a solo wife while your Firefighter saves other houses from destruction. It’s ok to not feel like a superhero, because even super heros have days like this.
I know that sometimes you feel like you can’t do it all. You don’t even want to do it all. It’s too much to bear. Let the weight go- you are only one person.
There are days that you worry, all day long, about nothing and everything. Days when the slightest thing triggers you and the lack of texts and phone calls leave you with a knot in your stomach.
I know you want to be supportive of your husband’s career- but somedays you just don’t know how. The fires, and the medical calls and the LODD risks– it’s too much to tackle in a one afternoon. But it can be tackled. One piece at a time.
I know you weren’t prepared for this when you got married, for these days when you would feel totally beaten and just barely treading water. The movies don’t prepare you, the books are all fairytales- it’s not your fault you didn’t know.
I know you just want to be happy- for yourself, for your firefighter, for your family. And you can be because not every day will feel this bad.
I know this journey feels so lonely. SO SO lonely- so few people get this. But there are those that have survived. Those wives that have walked in your shoes and made it to the other side.
And Fire Wife, I see you, doing double duty behind the scenes, solo parenting those kiddos that need all the love in the world. I see you doing your very best and still you feel like you fall up short. But what matters is that you are trying, and that you try again tomorrow.
And to the Fire Wife that feels like her Husband doesn’t see her frustration and overwhelm, hang in there. Keep trying. Happiness is your birthright.
I want you to see that you are doing a great job- a job that is hard even for the toughest of women. Give yourself more credit, especially because you deserve it.
Know that even on your worst days, you are a survivor. You will thrive. A tree doesn’t grow in a day and you are doing better than you think.
And Dear Firefighter Wife?
Lives depend on you. It doesn’t seem that way when you are overwhelmed, exhausted and feeling defeated. But they do. You give so that your Firefighter can save the lives of others. Your support matters, You are an incredible human being to walk this life, Believe in what you do.
Let me tell you today: You are doing a great job. A phenomenal Job. An important Job. There are solutions to your problems and there are rainbows in your clouds.
Today, today may have beaten you, but it has not beat you.
You are more than enough, Fire Wife! Never Forget that.