5 Things No One Tells you about being a Fire Wife

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There’s either a lot of information, or very little information about what Fire Life is really like and what it’s really like to be a Fire Wife – and it really all depends on who you talk to.

So if your anything like me, you jump right into all the stuff that is totally false and doesn’t help your Fire Life trials.


I’ve learned a lot since then- and there’s so much good and bad about being a Fire Wife, but mostly good.

But if you need some tips for relationships and the Fire life, you won’t find it here. Instead peep these must have tips viewed by over 50k couples.

Let’s dive into 5 things no one tells you about being a Fire Wife (but they really should have let you know!) Unless you’re looking for some support for shift day– because that’s in a different post!

1.Some nights I stay up…

I wish when my husband first started the academy that some of the nights would be incredibly lonely. And not only is it super lonely to not have another adult in the house to talk to… but the quiet is deafening. You’ll jump at random sounds and start talking to the dog.

And it’s not that this is a ‘normal’ lonely you get from living by yourself- it’s the kind mixed with anxiety. There are days when I’m really worried about my husband, and those lonely nights make it much worse.

So if you’re looking with a way to connect- here’s a collection of texts to send your Firefighter at work.

2. The rumors aren’t true when it comes to being a Fire Wife

This one got me 100% when my husband became a Firefighter. I think it was literally the first thing I read and someone told me and then I saw it in a movie!

I was panicked!

I even called my husband and told him he shouldn’t complete Fire College.

It was the rumor that Firefighters get divorced at really high numbers!

But… with the help of a good mentor and some sluething, it turns out the numbers just don’t quite add up to that. You can see it for yourself.

3. It should not come home

No no, not station drama, but the bunker gear! You read that right. Bunker gear (or turnout gear) should not be coming inside your house. It really shouldn’t even be in the family vehicle.

Why? Glad you asked! Bunker Gear is covered in carcinogens from the fires your husband has fought- so bringing that into your home is increasing your risk of illness via exposure to chemicals and contaminants found by many organizations to cause cancer. There are some easy tips you can do to reduce the risks!

It’s best that it stays at the station- or at worst, in a dedicated gear bag in the trunk of the car (or even the shed not connected to the house!)

Yes, I know you are totally overwhelmed with all of this AND dealing with the LODD concerns . I get it! We are here for you- please don’t feel alone.

4. Those Station Visits!

Station visits can be so much fun! There’s lots of times we’ve popped over with the family to say goodnight, or bring by some distant family to see the trucks.

But what no one tells you is that its stressful! Especially when you are solo parenting and then you have to get the kids back to the car and back home.

Too many times (including one station thanksgiving!) the tones have dropped and my Firefighter has had to jump in the truck. This happened when his mom and sister visited, when we stopped by for my son’s birthday, and one Sunday when we brought lunch by.

Learning to not be dissapointed has been hard- but it’s a part of the job and something we have to anticipate!

5. You will be up to your head in…

I’m am not exagerating when I say this- it’s a known problem that any Firefighter wife will atest to.

When you are with a Firefighter prepare to be drowned in tshirts!

I know, ridiculous right? But it’s true. Between one’s they pick up, one’s that are gifted, the themed ones for fundraisers, ones from the Union, and their regular ones from shift (that get changed every so often) they’ll end up with stacks and stacks of tshirts! Let me know if you find a solution because I’m about to make a XL dogbed with some of these soon!

That’s it Fellow Fire Wives!

I’m sure there’s more, but I hope you’ll know that finding a friend or a mentor in this life is important. There’s lots of stuff to learn so that you feel confident- don’t be afraid to find your community to get you through those rough patches!

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