Firefighter Valentine’s Day gifts for him and her

Firefighter Gifts for him and her blog title

Want to get your Firefighter something special for Valentines Day? What do you get the firefighter wife for Valentine’s Day? Do you have an anniversary coming up soon? And we can’t leave out all the firefighter girlfriends and boyfriends from the mix!

But where do you start? Is it a steamy hot date idea (check out my list of ideas here for inspiration!) 

I mean, you could just browse Etsy forever… it’s like a trap when I open my app, but I never find the perfect gift.

This list of Firefighter gifts is sure to ease the question, “What do I get my loved on for valentines day?” From newly dating, to freshly engaged, to married for years- this gift guide will give Ideas and Inspiration for your gift.

And if you are dating, you need to check out my Secrets for Dating a Firefighter!

Ive broken down this gift guide into 4 parts.

I’ve included lots of firefighter items and NON fire themed items (I mean, how many firefighter t-shirts can you own???) 

This post contains affiliate links, please see my affiliate disclosure for more information. 

Firefighter Valentine's Day Gift Ideas

Gifts for Firefighters for Valentine’s Day- FireMen/FireWoman

Helmet Accessories

Helmet accessories are a popular option for Firefighter gifts, especially because some of them can be very useful from a safety standpoint.

Stickers are always a fun gift BUT they need to be made from special material- so don’t go crazy getting every sticker you see. They need to be approved so they don’t melt.

Another good option for helmets are flashlights! You can get a flashlight holder for pretty cheap, and a flashlight and holder combo for a good price.

You can also do a helmet band. These can be used to hold other accessories and come in plain and reflective bands.

Custom Firefighter Gifts

Amazon has a few custom firefighter gifts, but Etsy custom firefighter gifts are more diverse. If you want to do something like a radio strap- contact someone on Instagram! Their are so many awesome artists making unique custom firefighter gifts.

Firefighter aprons are always a fun gift– especially if you want your firefighter to cook for you more!


And if you haven’t gotten your Firefighter a custom tumbler cup– then you definitely need to consider it! These are a HOT item!

Another Fun option for Firefighters are Recycled Fire Hose Gifts. You can check out my gift guide here!

If you didn’t find a specific firefighter gift for valentines day- check out my Pinterest board. It has tons of great ideas and is one of my most popular boards to date!

pin this post for later!

Valentines Day gifts for Firefighters. Includes options for Him and Her, and non fire related gifts too! #firefighter #firefighterwife

Gifts for him

Every day Carry Options

Most guys carry things on a semi regular basis- their “every day carry”.


These can be something as simple as a Watch or a Wallets. Knives are pretty popular too, along with multitools.

They are useful for every day carry and also for work! Some other favorites include flashlights, raptor trauma sheers and paracord bracelets.


Go sentimental

Many Firefighters carry trinkets in their gear, reminding them to think about the loved ones at home. The popular ones this year are keychains

This one is a cute “His and Her’s” Option

I like this one, which can be customized, “Come home safe to me”

And this one is a “his and hers” option.

Gifts for Her

Firefighter themed jewelry

Yes, most women are obsessed with firefighter shirts- it’s not just a male thing. And while there are tons of cute options online, you might want to get them something more original.

When looking for jewelry you need to decide two things. 1. Are they a necklace or bracelet type person? 2. Do you want to customize it?

This thin red line necklace is super popular this year!

If you want to customize your thin red line necklace, this would be the option to choose!


Bracelets are another super popular item, and there are lots to choose from! Like this, “My Heart Belongs to a Firefighter” bracelet and this Firefighter Wife bracelet with customizable colors.

Pamper her with love

This can be anything from giving her some alone time, to paying for the house or car to get cleaned!

Gift Baskets can also be an easy way to take care of your girl, Amazon has lots of options from spa gift baskets, cookie/Treat gift baskets and essential oils with a necklace.

Gifts for them

Steamy

I need not to remind you- but getting some new lingerie or matching underwear sets is a fun way to share something with your partner that only they get to see!

Sweet

Last, but not least, Sweet gifts are a great way to reconnect with your spouse!

These devotional journals and inspiration journeys are a sure fire way to connect with your loved one- and they are guided so you don’t have to do much work! These are a must do for newer relationships to help build a solid foundation! Examples include a bucket list journal, a gratitude journal, and a 150 questions designed to get to know your spouse better.

Coupon books are another favorite– you can find them in lots of different styles, and of Course, you can make your own! The homemade ones might be there very best because they are tailored to the couples needs.

Conclusion

I hope you found the perfect firefighter valentines day gift for your husband or wife, send them this gift guide so they can know what to get you too! And Don’t forget to check out my super popular tips for the Firefighter couple.

Interested in some date ideas for Valentine’s Day? I have a super useful list of date ideas- from Fancy to Free! Hot Date Night Ideas for the Perfect Firefighter Date

Do you have big plans for valentines day? Are you getting your loved one a gift I mentioned? Drop me a comment below!

Share this post on Social Media, your Firefighter Family will thank you!

Need help with the perfect gift for your firefighter or Firefighter spouse? Check out these easy gift guide with lots of great ideas for valentines day!

Easy Time Management Tips for Achieving your Goals

Easy Time Management Tips

Post Preview: Time management is essential to achieving the goals and achievements you’ve always dreamed about. These easy time management tips will propel your forward on your journey to greatness.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. 

How many of you have sat through a long teaching, or waited in a doctor’s office, and the sound of an analog clock is burned into your ears?

You keep checking the time- one minute passes. So you try to busy yourself. Then you check it again. Its only been a minute and some seconds. 

Yikes. Time slows and you feel like you will never get out of there (especially when you were a kid in school!). 

Kinda like the Bueller Bueller scene from Ferris Bueller’s day off… it just drags onnnnn.

At other life events, time seems to slip through your fingers. It goes so fast- that you are afraid to blink. Before you know it, it’s the next day, or the next year and you have no idea where the time went. Even worse, you might not have anything to show for your lost time. 

While these are some more extreme examples, daily time management is pretty basic. 

The premise is that you have 24 hours- during that time you need to do personal things and you often have to do work things.

 For a firefighter or other shift worker, you could work for longer periods of time where most of the 24 hours is work and very little is personal time (also, a dedicated caregiver feels this way!). 

Because of these differences in time allowances, we need to have some skills to manage our time. 

This post may contain affiliate links, please check out my affiliate disclosure for more information.

Why Time Management for goal achievement?

Time management, when done correctly, can allow you to get the most out of your day. You are able to organize and prioritize the important personal and work related tasks an make headway on your goals. 

You are able to actually show what you did with your time. 

Another benefit is that when your day is organized you can actually schedule stress free, free time. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but it’s not. How many times have you had free time but you had this cloud hanging over you that you are procrastinating. That’s not free time, that’s you causing yourself anxiety. 

Using your time wisely is so beneficial to your stress and anxiety levels. You can prioritize what’s important, make peace with what isn’t, and then still have time to unwind. 

Easy Time Management Tips 

1. Eat the frog (it’s delicious!)

Eat the frog? Yes, I want you to eat the frog. 

Let me explain. 

This phrase was coined by Mark Twain and has been used ever since. He stated that if you ate a frog every morning, you could do everything else, because eating the frog would be the worst thing you would have to do. 

In a nutshell, The principle is this: Do the biggest, ugliest task of your day- FIRST. 

Why first? Because then you are free to focus on other things and you won’t have anxiety or stress about procrastination. If you are doing a major task each day to further your goals, you will be making baby steps forward each day. A helpful planner can be a major game changer in your frog eating adventures- don’t get sidelined by indecision.

Brian Tracy, a very popular leadership coach, said this about eating the frog “Successful, effective people are those who launch directly into their major tasks and then discipline themselves to work steadily and single-mindedly until those tasks are complete”

If you want to be successful, you need to imitate those who have already earned success. Brian Tracy acknowledges finishing major tasks will make you successful- and that’s what were after. 

So a simple way to success- simply eat the frog!

2. Recognize the time suckers

Time wasters are those magical gnomes that come and steal all the time from the day. Before you realize it, you’ve barely gotten anything done and your list of things you want to do has gotten larger.

Sound familiar?  

Common time wasters can be things like technology, including television and cell phones. 

But what about other time wasters? Like gossiping to your neighbor who stays at your house for three hours? Or an unorganized work bench that makes it impossible to complete your task?

What about not setting boundaries on your time? If you let everyone else dictate how your day will go, you wont get anything done that YOU wanted to do- because you followed someone else agenda. 

An easy way to identify your time wasters is to simply keep track of the time you spend in one day. Write down how long it takes you to do your morning routine, your daily task etc- then you can figure out where the time wasters are.        

3. Have simple and clear goals with follow up

This one may seem like a no brainer- because, in principle, it is. The problem lies in implementing these clear goals and making sure to follow up. 

I really like the book, The 12 week year, because it helps to establish a solid plan of action. It highlights the importance of setting quarterly goals and then breaking those goals into action plans. It also covers how to conduct regular reviews to make sure that you are on track to attain your goals. 

It’s not that goal setting is hard, it’s that it’s hard to stay committed. Using a planner and allowing a strategy like the 12 week year (or The Checklist Manifesto, which tends to resonate with medical professionals  ) can really make a difference in your goals over the next few months. I have a free printable for goal setting, check it out here.

4. Organize your life, Organize your mind

Everyone has done a cleaning or building project at some time or another. 

How frustrating is it, to be halfway through the project and realize you are missing something you desperately need?

This happened to me once with an Ikea table- I almost threw the damn thing out the window. 

So think back on a time that having an organized project area would have saved you time- especially when you are trying to meet a deadline. 

Make it a priority to keep your space organized, and to double check you supplies before you begin a project (even if that just means an extra pen!). You will be amazed at how much time you save when you have everything you need at your fingertips. 

5. Reflection is the Key to Time Management

Just like you need to include time for planning, organizing and implementing your plans- you also need time to reflect on what you have done to accomplish them. 

This can be a daily or monthly reflection- but it’s important that you set aside time and schedule this review. 

When you fail to review what you’ve done, you fail at the most important part: accountability. 

If you don’t check to make sure that you are on track, you are most likely off track. 

Many successful men and women spend 15-30 minutes each day reflecting on their goals and the steps necessary to achieve these goals. It’s what sets them apart from the rest. When you keep your goals and progress at the forefront of your mind, you stay motivated to succeed. 

Conclusion 

This is just part of the overall plan to achieving your goals. IF you don’t have a plan in place and dreams to accomplish- then you are missing out. Time management is essential, but not the only piece to the puzzle.

Check out the other posts in the mini series to become the best you in 2019.

Easy Time Management tips #2019 #productivity

Planning your goals: Free Printable

Printables for goal planner

Are you looking for a simple solution for keeping track of your new year’s goals? I have THREE FREE printables that can help you stay organized in 2019.

This post isn’t about New Years Resolutions. Sure they are fun to do (obviously since I’m writing this!) but it doesn’t work for everyone. Like my Firefighter husband who hates resolutions. 

So this is a post where the printable will work for both resolutions AND goals all year long (depending on how you look at it!). I also included a monthly printable, instead of just yearly, so that you can take small steps to achieve a bigger goal.

It’s been proven that if you write down your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.

Because it is never too late to start a plan. 

Every January millions of people making pledges to do *something*. A pretty common one is to set a weight loss or fitness goal, which is why most gyms have a spike in attendance the first of the year. Other people pledge to quit smoking or save money. So a resolution is basically a year long goal- often times that has many micro steps. 

Do you want to be better in 2019?

So if your 2019 year goal is to be a better firefighter, you want to break that down into several categories. 

I’ve created a printable for the firefighter to fill out for his/her resolutions for the year. I also have a “goal/nonfirefighter” printable for the home life or for anytime throughout the year. 

Hopefully, you can place this in a visual place. Your Bathroom, your locker, your kitchen- somewhere that you can keep reminding yourself of what you want to accomplish. 

This also fits in most larger planners, and you can scale it down to place in other planners.

Simply reduce to 85% for most regular size planners (open in adobe reader) or 65% for mini planners (open in adobe reader).

If you are interested in the perfect planner for firefighters, I highly wrote about a planner that fits the firefighter lifestyle.

BUT if you don’t like that, please still make a plan somewhere. You are much more likely to complete goals and accomplish your dreams if you write down (or type out) your goals and dreams! 

Firefighter Goal Printable #firefightermotivation
Firefighter goal printable #firefightermotivation

A Fire Wife’s Prayer

a Fire Wife's Prayer

Are you a Fire Wife? Engaged to a Firefighter? Or dating one?

If you’re in a relationship with a firefighter- you know that you think about them when they are gone.

I know that some days, all I can do is think about my Firefighter.

These thoughts vary. Some days they are tainted with worry. Other days we just thankful for all of their training.

Some days you might just try hard to preoccupy yourself and “forget” about any danger they could be in or the statistics about LODD’S

And for many fire wives, we think about our husband’s when they are off shift too.

Did that last call get to them? Are they irritable because of sleep deprivation or because of something else more serious? When was the last time they had blood work and a physical?

Firefighter, Always come home safe to me!

What the public doesn’t know about Firefighters 

When you talk to someone that’s not related to Firefighting and all of it’s various occupations, you get a lot of the same generic comments. Comments about how attractive they are, about how they could never run into a burning building, and comments assuming they get paid a lot to lay around all day. 

What the public doesn’t understand is how dangerous their job really is. This job is packed full of stress which leads to heart disease, toxic exposure which leads to cancer and trauma which leads to mental pain. 

The public doesn’t understand, truly, what a sacrifice our Fire Service Personal make when they sign up for the job (or when they volunteer).

It is a job worth doing, but it is never a walk in the park.  

Give my firefighter strength when he is tired.

So that is why Fire Wive’s Pray

Fire Wive’s DO know what their husbands go through. From long seasons in the forest, to rescue trucks that run nonstop for 24 hours. From calls that leave a permanent mark to calls that have them on cloud nine. 

We know that the statistics about divorce are ridiculously inflated and that mental health is drastically underplayed.

We also know that they have signed up to save lives, and that is their calling. We support them, even when it scares us.

Help him carry on despite what he has seen. #firefighter #firewifelife

Fire Wives know that our firemen need us to stay strong. So we pray. For them. For Us. For the Fire family and the public. 

And we trust that a higher power will carry us through.

We Pray for the PTSD that sneaks up out of nowhere, and we pray for our understanding that we don’t know what the bigger plan is.

Firefighter Wife's Prayer- Please Bring Him Home Safe to Me. #firefighterwife

Fire Wives need to stick together

We need to come together for our Fire Family. New, old, ones that have been married twice. This superficial stuff doesn’t need to be a priority. 

What needs to be a priority is praying for these firefighters. 

For bringing awareness to them and the public about the dangers of the job. 

For helping those that have lost their firefighters and working twice as help prevent it in the future. 

Help my Firefighter stay calm and be a voice of reason. #firewifeprayer #firefighters

Conclusion

So Fire Wives, let’s do our best to stay positive and enjoy this ride.

Our Fire Family needs it as it grows in numbers- we don’t want these negative statistics to become any higher. 

If you feel driven to help others, look at what you can do locally or online. To spread awareness, to fundraise, to mentor. For many of us, this isn’t just a job, it has become an extended family. 

And family never leaves anyone behind. 

Do you have something specific you pray for your firefighter? What about things your firefighter might pray for, for you?

May my Firefighter Always be faster than the flames #firewifeprayer #firefighterwife
Lord, Please give my firefighter strength today, even when he is tired. #firewifeprayer #firefighterwife

5 Family Activities you must do at the Fire Station

Firefighter mental health kids

Post Preview: Firefighters know they need to focus on their mental health, but what about their Family’s? These activities at the Fire Station can help nature positive family relationships. 

Firefighters are really big when it comes to family, after all, it is a family tradition.

Working in the fire service is one of those things that sometimes takes away from family time. Like many other worthwhile careers, Firefighters have to sacrifice some time away to work and improve their skills. 

My Firefighter and I make it a priority to spend time together on and off shift. We are doing what we can to help all of us have good mental health and low levels of stress. Check out 5 easy ways you can do this below! 

Why does Family Time matter for Mental Health?

Often times we talk about doing things as a family and then… well… life happens! Plans get changed, somebody is sick, somebody else is grumpy. I know that I’ve had days where we just turn the car around and go home! 

But Family time, especially positive family time has a huge impact on the stress levels of everyone. Not only does spending quality time reduce stress levels but it also builds healthy relationships with your kids. Many studies are now showing that children that don’t receive quality time with the family unit are at higher risk of emotional and behavioral disorders.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration has a program called “Building Blocks for a Healthy Future”. Quality family time is vital in that program for healthy development and can lead to better choices in the future when it comes to abuse or poor decision making. 

By spending time together, Your child will get to model your behavior, develop better communication, voice their thoughts and feelings, and get to experience loving relationships. That’s just the tip of the iceberg! There is so much to be gained when you make a concentrated effort to have everyone together. 

And honestly, if your family (first or second) is in a good place mentally, it makes things so much easier for you! 

What if you can’t visit?

Some people will say that they aren’t allowed to visit their firefighter. To that I say, BS. Family is the foundation of the fire service, so have your firefighter talk with others and the chain of command to see how it can be arranged for family to have time to visit. 

I know for our station, it’s highly discouraged to come by during working hours from 8-5 (and sometimes later just depending on what they tasks are that day). So we don’t visit a lot during the week and try to make plans to see him on the weekend after his list of duties is done.

That is compromise and it works well for our family. 

I do understand that there are many stages to the fire service, some are in military, some are hotshots, some are volunteers. Those all look different- but that doesn’t mean that you can’t set aside a special visit to see where your firefighter works.

If it is really unavailable for you to visit (due to sickness, danger, or location) make it a priority to video chat. It’s important to have visuals so you can understand where your Firefighter spends his time and for everyone’s mental health. 

The Activities at the Fire Station

So you know that family time is important and you have a time set up to see your firefighter. But what do you do at your visit? Do you sit around and just chit chat? Sure. But if you have kids, you are going to want to keep them entertained somehow!

Here’s my list of favorite ideas that build those family relationship- and the kids don’t even know it.   

  1. Wash the truck (or something else like a golf cart that won’t get damaged)

This is one of the all time favorite things for us to do, and other firefighters at the station love to do it with their family as well. This is one of those chores turned family time type things that allows for a clean apparatus and a happy family!

Our kids love to wash the truck, but we also have several other vehicles they can wash so that damage doesn’t accidentally happen.

2. Cook dinner together (or bring dinner)

Food, YUM! Everyone loves food. Theres’ nothing like getting together with your firefighter and his second work family over a meal. 

Cooking food is a great option, but I do understand that some stations are really busy! In that case, decide if its better to bring food in or have someone who isn’t the firefighter in charge of cooking.

3. Have a Pajama party

Lots of people live far away from their firefighters work zone, so coordinating schedules can be hard with school and other family members jobs. Especially when you have kids  Cue the Pajama party! 

Get the kids home from school, feed them and put them in their Pjs. Drive to see your Firefighter and then, when they *hopefully* fall asleep on the way home, you can just put them in bed. Thats a win/win in my book!

4. Participate in a parade or community event

This may seem like a no brainer- but if you don’t plan ahead you are likely to forget. I cant tell you the number of times my firefighter would spring an event on me last minute. (I took matters into my own hands and got a calendar!)

Going to an event where your firefighter works can be a lot of fun but you do run the risk that they are busy! We try to weigh it out ahead of time based on how the event was last year or what the event is for. Chances are, my firefighter will have a good 10 minutes to hang out and sometimes he’s had even more time! 

He doesn’t work all the events though, so sometimes we visit him because its a family event. This could also be anything from a charity that they get together to support to a holiday event.

These types of activities are the perfect ways to get involved with your firefighter because family is expected to come. So if you suffer from some anxiety about stopping by during shift time, this is the perfect time to do it! 

5. Have breakfast together 

We already know that firefighters love food, so a super fun way to spend time at the station is with breakfast! The cool thing about breakfast is that it can be done before, during or after shift. 

WIth such a versatile time frame this is a fun activity that can be low key and low stress. Just grab some pancake mix and syrup or bacon and eggs. My personal favorite is muffins since I can bring enough for everyone and not have to worry about clean up. 

Enjoy your breakfast, have some coffee and hang out at the station. This is the perfect Saturday morning if you ask me! 

Bonus Tip! If possible, do a movie night at the station. This will require some planning since you want to schedule this on a “ low call volume” day (which can be hard! I know). But if you are able to do it, think about how much fun it would be! Even if they do get a call, you can leave the kiddos watching the movie and then catch up with your firefighter gets back to the station. 

And these ideas don’t even cover all of it. Where theres a will, theres a way! Family time should be protected. 

The Importance of Work Life Balance

There has been a lot of talk about Firefighters and mental health. Part of that discussion is asking difficult questions like, “Do I work too much as a firefighter?” “Am I getting enough family time” “How do I control my stress levels?”.

Firefighter mental health

When you have an appropriate amount of work time balanced with the appropriate amount of regular life, you are able to manage your feelings and stress levels better. You feel better. You sleep better. You can “turn off work and leave it at work”, NOT bring it home. 

Spending time with family, especially healthy time where you are actively engaged, can significantly improve mental health– which means you will be less angry, less anxious and less likely to snap at someone. 

Working too much- especially in a high trauma arena as a first responder is stressful. We all know that higher levels of stress have a negative impact on firefighters. 

Work Life Balance is so incredibly important for firefighters. We all assume that because they work different hour shifts or that they volunteer that work life balance doesn’t matter. But I’m here to tell you that it does in every professional sense (Degree in Human Resources) and personal sense (married to a firefighter). 

Find a balance, find time on shift for family, and see the benefits it adds to your life. 

Conclusion

Family Time is so important! Even if your firefighter has a crazy schedule you can find ways to make it work so that the kids can get the best of both worlds. Plus, the benefits to mental health for the entire family can’t be overlooked, especially with something as fun as spending time together. 

Kids are never going to remember their best day of TV, they will remember all the times they got to spend at the station and do fun activities with their firefighter! 

Tell me Fire Family, do you have any other activities to recommend? Did you try any of these at the station


Mental Health Firefighter
Firefighters Activities for mental health

Santa’s Alternative Delivery Letter- Free Printable

First Responder Santa Letter

Enjoy this letter from Santa to arrange an alternative delivery date for presents! Perfect for First Responder and Military families, as well as those that need a good excuse for a date change.

Christmas is always a fun time to get together and enjoy the season. But what happens when some of your family members can’t make it on December 25th?

This has certainly been a problem that families have gotten create with, in fact I have a whole blog post dedicated to ideas and alternatives to the traditions

So here’s something for all the kids! 

This Printable Santa Letter lets you choose an alternative date for easy explanation. 

Santa Alternatives for First Responders

Santa's Alternative Delivery Letter for Firefighters working the Holidays!

Top 5 Real Fire truck Videos for Kids

Post Preview: Kids love Fire Trucks! I’ve listed the best ones of the web according to views and my toddler’s excitement level. These videos are fun for the whole family to watch!

Would you believe me if I said I’ve watched countless hours of firefighter and fire truck videos with my toddler? And that I have all these firefighter songs now stuck in my head… for like forever. 

Seriously, its true!

We are big fire truck lovers because Daddy is a firefighter. So even though he’s been in a real fire truck a bazillion times- he still wants to watch them on youtube. Because Dad is a firefighter, we try to stay away from the cartoons because they just aren’t realistic. Not that its a bad thing, we’ve watched some Fireman Sam and really like it. 

Dangit, now I’ve got the Fireman Sam theme song stuck in my head (I hope it happens to you to now!)

The biggest reason we like real life firetruck videos is because we want our son to have a good understanding of firefighter responsibilities and the realities of the job. Water doesn’t just come from no where and fire trucks are extremely big. Sure, he has lots of toys and he thinks Marshall from Paw Patrol is a cool pup. But Cartoons just don’t cut it when it comes to how big firetrucks are and how dangerous fire can be. 

So here’s the top firefighter truck videos for kids on youtube. These have all been toddler approved (and the views certainly testify to their popularity!). 

The Fire station Visit

Kids love to watch other kids doing stuff. I have no idea why but I just go with it! This cute fire station visit highlights two young boys as they live the firefighter life. If you don’t go to a fire station often, this video is a must see! 

Fire Engine Sing Along

If you don’t mind songs, this is a great video! The song is funny and catchy, I catch myself singing it from time to time. The video definitely keeps my kid entertained with the flashing lights and accurate video. 

Educational Fire Department Visit

I have no idea how much this guy paid the fire department but I hope it was a good amount. I thought for sure he was going to pass out when he was demonstrating the SCBA and taking large gulps of oxygen.

In all seriousness, this is a really good video for demonstrating many of the sides of firefighting in a way kids can understand it. I can appreciate Blippi giving a realistic look at what Firefighters really do- and my toddler loves to respond to this character. 

The Country Great Big Firetruck

This is a another cute song about “here comes a great big firetruck”. Not sure if this was made for kids or firefighters, since I see the appeal for both audiences! This is definitely one of the better songs I have heard- kinda with a country twang. Plus, its only about 2ish minutes long. 

Fire Apparatus Parade

My son loves parades and gets so excited when the firetruck comes around (especially if daddy is onboard!) so a parade full of nothin but firetrucks has him over the moon! This is on our bucket list, but for now the video is a lot of fun to watch. Be prepared for your kid to beg you for a parade after they watch this! My son waved at every fire engine. I didn’t have the heart to tell them it was uploaded like 5 years ago! 

Firefighter Wife T-shirts: Can you have too many?

Fire Wives and their Tshirt Obsession #firewifelife #firefighterwife

Firefighter Wives are a diverse group of ladies, but then tend to have a few things in common. Married to a Firefighter is one of the main factors, but other things like knowing the fire lingo and enjoying alone time come into effect too.

Hey, How do you know if someone is a Fire Wife? Don’t worry, Her t-shirt will tell you!

Ok, that was a little cheesy but its true! Fire Wives have a lot of shirts and apparel to rep their husbands career choice.

If you search for anything Firefighter Wife online, you are bound to find some Fire Wife T-shirts. And not just t-shirts, but hoodies and tank tops and pajamas sets. Somewhere between the online marketplace boom and the option to order at the click of a button, women’s clothing has gone through a serious makeover. 

Seriously. There are a lot of options out there. So many that I didn’t even include shirts in my Valentines Day Gift Guide- us Fire Wives need more originality in our gifts!

From Etsy sellers to Amazon and everywhere in between (check out this Fire Wife MarketPlace on Facebook!), Fire Wife T-shirts are a popular search item. Add in the fire themed wedding stuff like matching t-shirts and the super cute baby stuff, then you begin to realize that we might be a tad obsessed with vinyl and screen print.

The irony! This is a IRL picture of me writing about Fire Wife shirts, while wearing a Fire Wife Shirt. 

But why are we so obsessed with Fire Wife Shirts?

gray shirt with script- so hot I have my own firefighter

I have a few theories. 

The first is that we like cute clothes and some of these outfits are adorable. 

For real. They have some that are covered in glitter, some holographic, some with original sayings. Sure there are the generic ones that people tend to pass around from store to store, but then you have the original ideas! Those are my favorite. 

black shirt with thin red line decal with firefighter helmet and script- wife

Save this pin for later!

Fire background with script- can you have too many firewife tshirts?

The next is that we want to support our firefighter.

I’d be proud if my husband was a tourist guide or a carpet cleaner (because he was both of those!) but I love how the Fire Family sticks together.

So repping a t-shirt emblazoned with a Maltese cross and thin red line is a no brainer. It just makes sense that we support our firefighter and that support turns into clothing. 

And your husband doesn’t have to be career, he can be a volunteer.

Blue hoodie with script- proud wife of a brave volunteer firefighter

Or a Wildland Firefighter.

And of course, you can be a nurse and fire wife or a teacher and fire wife OR (insert profession) and fire wife- because you aren’t just a wife!

I am a teacher and a firefighter wife red tshirt

Basically, our Husbands are obsessed with Firefighter t-shirts and they have brain washed us. 

I can’t be the only one right? My husband has like… a bazillion shirts. Why? I have no idea, I’ve been brainwashed into believing its normal and now I have a bunch of shirts too! Sometimes we accidentally match (which is why I prefer some fire wife shirts, that way its cute but not twinning). 

So if your anything like me, you enjoy looking at the latest shirts to hit the market. And if your not like me, then maybe you can understand why there’s an obsession for Firefighter Wife T-shirts!

I’ve included a few of my favorites below. You certainly have options to choose from! 

black shirt with heart shaped thin red line and script- my heart belongs to a firefighter

So tell me, are YOU obsessed with Firefighter Tshirts? Or am I the only one? It’s ok, I can handle the truth! Maybe it’s trucker hats and keychains?

And for all my Fire Wives out there, Check out this post about for Hot Date Ideas for you and your Firefighter!

firetruck background with script- firefighter wife tshirts

The Truth about Firefighter Divorce Rates

Post Preview: The Truth About Firefighter Divorce isn’t always clear. When you look at the data about firefighter marriages you can see the trends relating to firefighter divorce rate.

Divorce is a dirty word among firefighters. For years and years, the general thought is that Firefighters get divorced more than the general public.

Not only that but they tend to get divorced at astronomical levels.

Not interested in Stats and want to take actions? Check out my tips to instantly make your marriage better. Or help for a firefighter marriage in crisis

Let’s get back to the stats

Seriously. 85 freaking percent is what some people claim.

You add in that half the population dies by 40 and all of a sudden the chance of being single by 45 is 100%. Crazy right! It sounds like the firemen need to be rescued if that’s the case. 

So that’s why I really started digging. Val Selby over at Wife Behind the Fire was the first one to ever suggest that the divorce rates were just rumors and I couldn’t have been happier! 

Because if you look at the divorce rates among firefighters, a lot of what we hear is jumbled and doesn’t add up.

Let’s look at what researchers have to say about the firefighter divorce rate.

This post might contain affiliate links. Check out my disclosure for more information. 

Let’s talk to the experts on Firefighter Divorce Rates

The first place we will look is an article done by Fire Rescue 1, from a few years ago. In it they look at the actual data. Yes, Folks, they look at the numbers. And you know what the numbers said?

Male Firefighters divorce less than the national average. 

Imma say that again for the people in the back, Firefighter Divorce is below national average. 

But wait, there’s more!

Turns out that Female Firefighters do have a higher percentage of divorce in this line of work, up to three times higher divorce rates. 

The article doesn’t really go into the ‘why’ because their hasn’t been a comprehensive study to find out why firefighters divorce.

We can always speculate though that it has something to do with the job and the many stresses that come along with it. For anyone thats ever been in a relationship, you know that stress can play an impactful role in the success of a marriage. 

In fact, this survey done in Canada shows half the firefighters said that “maintaining a relationship with one’s romantic partner” was a highly stressful part of the job.

Because let’s face it, being a firefighter isn’t always easy, and dealing with family stress on top of that can be hard to handle. Even with the addition of a stressful job, the stats don’t show an increase in divorced firefighters. 

So if we recap- Men, which are the majority of the firefighter work force, divorce less than the national average BUT they do feel that maintaining a healthy relationship is stressful.

So I have a theory!

Theory- Are the divorce rumors from unhappy firefighter couples?

Do Firefighters and their spouses hear about divorce because people are just unhappy and looking for a way out? 

Like they just TALK about divorce constantly, but never actually go through with it and just stay in unhappy relationships?

That’s totally possible.

So it could be that someone overhears that ‘firefighter so and so’ is having a hard time with their marriage and they spread rumors. Or two of the firefighters get together and realize they have the same problem- so they assume that everyone else does too. 

Then compound this year after year- the salty old dogs warning the probies about bringing their wives around the station and it becomes an urban legend.

At this station- divorce is common place. (The whole, saving lives and stealing wives firefighter routine)

That’s one theory.

another one is this:

Or maybe it’s that when Then when we do hear about a divorce, from your home station or somewhere close by, people spread it like wildfire. Especially if it somehow involves another firefighter. Or the Wife showed up and tried to set something on fire (true story!). 

Or there was a cheating firefighter spouse involved. Those stories spread and spread and spread so much that it turns into a game of telephone and you can’t even tell left from right.

In fact, I’m pretty sure half of those stories are grossly exaggerated by some gossiping old firefighter. Every station has one!

Do we really talk about divorce that much?

Kinda- We have a lot of misinformation out there!

Take this article for example. She cites EVERY SOURCE BESIDES the one about firefighter divorce. So her entire article has the stats to backup her data- but then when it says “firefighters divorce at 3 times the national average, second only to military” there is NO source. The article was also written in 2009 and probably spoke fear into many couples lives!

But if you ask me, I rarely hear about divorce OR unhappy relationships and neither does my husband. 

Sure, the guys may need some advice here and there. The majority of them want a family and they want to be happy while they do it.

They don’t want to be a divorced firefighter.

I hear more about how hard it is to get a date! And how they struggle with finding someone that understands this lifestyle. In fact, I wrote a post for some of the guys to use to show their prospective girlfriends about firefighter relationships. Because it’s hard finding someone that really gets what this life is about.

The web is also filled with relationship self help books that prey on this apparent fear, that being married to a firefighter is hard.

I do have some helpful book recommendations– but we shouldn’t sell them on fear, we need to read them out of a genuine desire to have a healthy marriage.

Any relationship or marriage takes work, and you can find help in a book or a counselor. My problem is that I can appreciate the advice but a lot of it is unneccesary  because they want to capitalize on the rumors. 

I can say that its hard for the wives that have to deal with a husband who won’t stop obsessing over work. Don’t let the job sour your marriage. Here are some tips for happy firefighter couples.  

Another good option is to look at couples counseling which is for people in every profession. Firefighters are not getting divorced anymore than the average Joe. Lawyers and massage therapists were at the top of the list- not firefighters. Not even close.

So are firefighters just unhappy?

Over the years we have become aware that Firefighters need more behavioral and mental health services because of what they see on the job.

It’s something that I’ve become pretty passionate about because many firefighters hide their PTSD and anxiety- and ultimately take their own life.

So I’m sure for some marriages (and some firefighter divorces) that plays a big part.

But is PTSD on the same level as happiness?

No, because both PTSD and happiness can be improved upon by a variety of factors. Counseling is a huge benefit to many- and of course, getting out of toxic situations is another contributing factor to happiness.

There was this mini survey done in Canada to compare males in fire service with males in other occupations. The comparison showed that Firefighters are on par with other people when it comes to marriage satisfaction.

So basically, being a firefighter doesn’t decrease the happiness in your marriage.

However, we don’t really have much data to show how other parts of the job (long hours, ptsd, being effected by a LODD) have on a firefighters marriage. 

And MANY FIRE WIVES are completely unaware that the change in their spouse is not due to a decrease in marital satisfaction– but a mental health issue like PTSD or anxiety.

Stress is certainly a big factor in health problems and relationship issues. I want to encourage you to reach out to your EAP or other trusted professional if you feel like things are getting crazy. You can also look at some ways to reduce your stress on shift here.

What about the cheating Firefighters?

Let’s talk about the infamous “CHEATING FIREFIGHTER”

I won’t lie- when my husband first said he wanted to be a firefighter, I looked up stuff about firefighters and BAM.

One of the first things I came across was that Firefighters are big time cheaters.

You know, since they have all this time on their hands.

And they stay overnight with women.

And it’s an orgy free for all at the fire house.

Right?

Let’s get to the bottom of this.

Statistically we know that people who cheat are looking to fill emotional AND physical needs. We also know that Men and Women cheat at the same rates.

Crazy right?

So what this is telling us is that the cheater was going to cheat regardless of what gender they are or where they worked- because they are filling an emotional/physically need.

Again, it’s not a matter of convenience.

So the cheating would happen inside or outside the firehouse.

But cheating at the fire house DOES happen, especially because we know about 30% of relationships involve some form of cheating (like messaging, sexting etc).

Unfortunately that is a problem that will happen wherever your cheating spouse works- even in they worked from home.

Divorce across the United States is decreasing- especially the under 45 crowd. 

Have you heard the jokes about how millennials are changing things? Well, it’s not wrong. The millennials in their average mid 20’s to late 30’s and the Gen X’ers up to mid 40’s are getting divorced less and less.

It’s not because they aren’t married, its because they are waiting to get married till they have finished their education and found a job (which increases the odds of them having a successful marriage). And here I thought the future of divorce would be that you could buy it on Amazon

In fact, the divorce rate for the under 45 crowd has reduced by a whopping 21 PERCENT in the last ten years alone. So while the divorce rate for 2017 for firefighters isn’t on the books, we can look at the general population and see that they are not getting divorced like the rumors suggest. 

No longer is the chance of a marriage ending in divorce 50/50.

 However, this doesn’t apply to the baby boomers, who are getting divorced at some really really high rates (maybe thats where the 85% divorce rate comes in!). Apparently baby boomers can’t stand their spouses so they’re trading them out- I’m only kinda kidding. The numbers tend to support this.

 

So lets clear up some Firefighter Divorce Stereotypes 

Feel free to check the facts, but the numbers say that the divorce across the US is decreasing AND most (mainly male) firefighters get divorced at rates lower than the national average.

So if you hear rumors about firefighter divorce, you can know that they are not based on the numbers. Maybe you just live in a really unlucky area and the divorce rates have more to do with geography and not occupation. 

Conclusion

Personally, I’m glad I’m married to a firefighter and with the stats on my side, I think I’ve made a good choice. After all, you love the person in the gear, not the gear itself. 

Did you find any of these statistics helpful? Any new information you didn’t know about? Drop me a comment below!

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First Responders working Christmas (kids, family and Santa)

First Responders Work On Christmas Day

Not all First Responders get to be at home on Christmas Day.

It’s just a fact of life when you live this lifestyle!

Thankfully we have many tips and tricks for helping family with the change in tradition.

It’s how we keep the world moving, and firefighters, along with their cohort of first responders, are no stranger to missing events.

This doesn’t always mean that it’s a walk in the park for those people to leave their family and traditions behind. No, it is certainly a sacrifice when plans get changed, especially year after year.

What about the Kids?

What our littlest humans don’t understand is when a family member, particularly a close one like mom or dad, has to miss out on the holiday festivities due to work.

This is especially true for our fire family, as many shift rotations call for working on the day before or day of a special event each year.

Some of the newer staff members can even work holidays every time those first few years to build up seniority. Other departments have a lottery or swap system- and lets just be honest, some firemen are just plain unlucky when it comes to time off!

So if you’re stuck in another year of Holiday rearrangements, or this is your first year on scene (check out my helpful thoughts on that first Christmas for the new fire wife), don’t sweat it.

Countless other families have been in this same situation and there’s a lot that can be done to help the Christmas season go smoothly!

What can the First Responder’s Family Do?

First things first, communicate among the adults in the household so you have a game plan, and here are some great ideas to have with that plan!

Don’t just assume that the pieces will ‘fall into place’ or that your first responder has a plan. If you haven’t discussed it, nothing will be done according to your expectations.

Make it extra special

Is there an extra special gift or event that you can go to? This is a smooth way to soften the blow, like a positivity sandwich. Here’s how it works


Step 1: Tell the kids you love them, but
Step 2: Dad/mom has to work on this holiday
Step 3: so we are going to celebrate by doing something special!


Sometimes that not available, or a little harder to do when you have small kids.

Don’t discount the small things though, remembering a favorite dessert or staying up past their bed time for a seasonal movie can be very impactful!

This last year I did small stocking stuffers every shift day, and the Christmas before it I did books leading up to the big day. It doesn’t take much to get kids excited, just some extra planning.

Celebrate a day early

This may sound like a no brainer, because it kinda is, but it can also be a hard pill to swallow if you are very dedicated to a specific day.

I understand, many of us have traditions that call for celebrations and it means a lot to us.

Celebrating a day early can be a great option to preserving traditions without sacrificing the firefighters presence, it can also mean that extra celebrations are done on the day of, while the family is apart.

We have done this option and it tends to be a lot of fun, we loved getting presents a day early!

Then the kids are entertained with their new toys on shift day. Plus, if you have young kids (like I do) they don’t actually know what day it is!

I may use that to my advantage, they can’t read a calendar anyways…

Get up early to celebrate before firefighter leaves for work

Some folks don’t like to do it the day before, so the other option is to get up early before Firefighter has to go!

We had considered this option, and it is definitely something we are going to remember when our kids are older. Hopefully this doesn’t mean like 3 am, but if it does, I hope you have some amazing coffee and nap time for the kids planned out!

Get other family involved so the kids have distractions

When you love your family, you love your family! This means spending time with the in-laws, out-laws, grandparents and cousins. It can also be whatever family you love, like those friends that we couldn’t live without.

Get them in on the celebrations this year to help with the absence of your first responder and you might be surprised at how much extra family can contribute to your holiday season!

Santa is a firefighter

Let’s just be honest, even though we know the secret of Santa, there is some anxiety in keeping it alive for our kids- especially when something threatens that reality (like having to work on Christmas). Some of the things you can do for Santa’s special arrangements are:

–  Give them this letter from Santa (it’s a free printable!) to explain he date change. 

-When the kids do their wishlists, have them write a special letter to Santa explaining the situation.

That their Firefighter has to work on Christmas, they will be at the station and that Santa will need to bring their gifts early.

This can be done after you already prompted them on what Santa might do, then provide them the opportunity so that they can tell him.

Bonus points if you can get the “Real Santa” in on the charade, it doesn’t take much for someone to dress up in a Santa suit!

>-Another option that works well, especially if you are too busy to write letters is to have Mom, Dad, or Grandma meet with Santa and let them know that they need to bring the gifts early.

This takes all of 5 minutes of your time and will satisfy inquiring questions from little minds.

>- Give Santa a call. Have it prearranged to call Santa and tell him everything that is changing with your first responders schedule.

>-If you have older kids you can explain to older kids that your firefighter is keeping other people safe and they are part of Santa’s team.

How cool right! So since they are helping Santa by keeping everyone safe, Santa already knows when and where the presents need to go and where you’ll be that night.

What about Holiday Dinners with our First Responders?

Hmmm Food.

Wherever you are from and whatever dietary preferences you have, food is good stuff!

Add in a hungry firefighter, some family and the Holidays and you’ve got a party!

Holiday meals are normally a fun time for all involved, and they don’t have to change too much with a work schedule getting in the way.

Many families find that they are able to schedule their big cookouts on different days, especially when other member work shift work.

Another good option to think about is just having two family meals.

One can be with your first responder and the other can be with your other family, (Which might work out nice if there are some family squabbles. Can anyone say, ‘peaceful thanksgiving’!)

If you have the opportunity, my favorite dinner is the one we have at the station while the Firefighters are on shift.

It’s this fun, haphazard, untraditional get together with people that your firefighter spends a lot of time with, and it can be great for the whole big family to get to get together.

Sometimes our first responders have extra special assignments over the holidays and they may be gone for weeks or months at a time. No worries!

You can still celebrate thanksgiving and Christmas a month or two late- after all, its the family that really matters. Don’t be afraid to make those memories regardless of the time frame.

It will be something you are glad you did when you look back over the years.

Regardless of where your firefighter is this holiday season

Regardless of where your first responder is this holiday season, I hope that you are able to find a happy medium and enjoy this latest season of your life!

When you are married to or related to a dedicated medical professional it is not always an easy task, especially when you now have to juggle their second family they inherited with the job.

This Christmas season, think about the memories you want to make and how you want to look back on this time of your life. I hope you make the most of it and fill it with lots of love and family!

If you are looking for a way to help reduce the stress of this holiday madness, check out my helpful guide! It could be the key to a smooth winter season.