With all of the options for staying in touch now, we have a lot of things being said about firefighters.
Like you might have seen on Tiktok that all firefighters are cheaters, or a friend of yours blasted a guy on instagram for catfishing her into thinking he was a firefighter when really he’s living in his parent’s basement.
And I mean- their are firefighters you’ve swiped right on and they’ve fed you a bunch of lies.
And then there are the ones that are totally truthful but you don’t know enough about the fire life to see that they are, actually, telling you the truth.
Here’s 6 lies you’ve been fed as a Firefighter Girlfriend
Firefighters are a family
While Firefighters are a family, they are not YOUR family.
Let me back up to explain the lie here.
You’ve heard or seen that the Firefighter brotherhood is strong as blood. And in many ways it is.
But there are some insecurities when it comes to dating (not marriage) but when things are casual and new, Firefighters will purposely not bring their girlfriends to the station. They don’t want the jokes, they don’t want to introduce you just yet, and they are trying to be private about it.
It’s totally common to not find out that a Firefighter is dating someone for several several months 😂😂 (And this has personally happened to firefighters I know MULTIPLE times)
They are just really private about a new relationship- and then they don’t want to give up the details to their crew.
This alone isn’t a cause for concern in the beginning- because they aren’t YOUR family. It’s just kind of something that happens with new relationships.
But if you haven’t been to the station after awhile, start asking some questions about why.
The D is super high
What kind of D? glad you asked for clarification because we are talking about Divorce. That’s right ladies. If you get hitched to a firefighter there’s a stigma that divorce rates are crazy sky high!
Divorce rates amongst firefighters are somewhat normal. Don’t believe me? See for yourself.
Overtime, Madatoried, and tons of time off
There are a lot of twisted truths when it comes to work hours, shift work and being required to come into work ‘again’.
It’s similar to getting catfished by a guy whose ‘deployed to Afghanistan’ when really he’s working a desk job one town over 😂
Same with *some* firefighters who use the schedule to their advantage.
In almost ALL states, there are limits to how much a firefighter can work. at a regular station, most places won’t allow firefighters to work more than 72 hours at a time, and have strict rules in place for making sure firefighters take time off.
This is different when there are active fires, wildfires, and natural disasters. In those cases, firefighters can work for weeks at a time- but this is a temporary situation and they WILL get time off after this is said and done.
Basically- if you feel like your being given the ‘I have to work’ excuse one too many times- it’s likely true.
Flip side, if your Firefighter is never working, then something is up there too. Firefighters typically work 24 on and 48 off, or 48 on and 72 off (and volunteers have weird fill in the gap hours)
PTSD is no biggie
There is an epidemic in the fire service. A serious one that is killing our first responders.
Sadly people don’t take this seriously ( I mean, how many dead children can you see before it starts to take a toll?!) and have been brushing this off without taking the time to deal with the trauma they’ve seen.
This means that some firefighters retire early, turn into sour mean people, and some even commit suicide.
I don’t say this to scare you but to let you know that saying the PTSD is no biggie is a bold face lie.
Please educate yourself with what you need to know about being with a firefighter that has PTSD
Everything is Fine
There are days that you’ll talk to your Firefighter and they will say ‘everything is fine’.
And if that’s not the biggest lie of all I don’t know what is!
This doesn’t automatically mean PTSD or something traumatic- that’s not what I’m saying.
What I am saying is that lack of sleep, weird schedules, running calls all night for really sick and hurt people, dealing with overdoses, helping bury pets that didn’t make it out of a fire, station drama and politics… these can all wear on firefighters and elevate their stress level.
If you find that your firefighter is stressed, suggest somethings like:
Getting some good food
Taking a nap
Going outside for a hike
Going to workout together
Letting them know that you are here for them and that you want to talk about things when they are ready.
By itself “everything is fine” seems harmless- but overtime if Firefighters don’t have healthy outlets and you notice weird or strange behavior, understand that this job is hard even for the strongest of people.
Holidays and Work Schedules
Do fires stop on holidays?
Can you just tell Santa to come back later? 😂😂😂
Really though, with swaps and vacations and stuff you’d think Firefighters would have lots of vacations and get off lots of holidays. But it’s actually the opposite.
Firefighters end up working more holidays and events because people do stupid shit.
The chances of your house catching on fire go up by 400% on Thanksgiving and Christmas- so our Firefighters are needed. Don’t let the holidays get you down ok? We’ve got a list of options for making it work.
Welcome to the Fire life. It’s messy and wonderful and tons of fun (with a bunch of BS thrown in) we’re happy to have you and hope your relationship works out for the best!